Football Europe-Patrick’s Rant

 

With the massive development and expansion of football coverage on both terrestial and satellite TV over the past 10 years, football pundits have been popping up all over the place to give us their expert views on a football match or headline story.

Some of them are pretty good and make valid, rational observations. However, I often ask myself how the hell have some of these guys got these jobs?

Sky Sports

Sky Sports seem to have got the balance right.

Good commentators are supported by a host of suitably qualified ex players who seem to know what they are talking about. Soccer Special is a very simple concept in football TV which works really well and I have to say is a must watch for me.

But even Sky Sports have a handful of useless pundits.

On the good side they have Gary Neville who has only been involved for a couple os seasons now and despite a bigoted Manchester United slant to all his assessments in the beginning has now developed into a very professional and worth listening to pundit.

Jamie Redknapp, as well as being the eye candy for the ladies, is also pretty good, although he does sit on the fence when it comes to actually making a decisive comment.

The two weak links for me on the Sky Sports pundit parade are Phil Thompson and Graeme Souness.

Phil Thompson seems to have an orgasm every time the ball is touched and cannot string a sentence together without impersonating a ferret eating a water melon and spraying the camera crew with his over excited, pointless banter.

But Sky Sports pathetic pundit is Graeme Souness.

There is something dark about his presence on the screen and I always feel there is something sinister behind his comments. More importantly, when you actually listen to him, he doesn’t actually say anything worth listening to!

But I bet you want to know who has to take the title Pathetic Pundit Plonker 2012?

It’s a very close run thing!

In second place for his lack lustre style of punditry which nearly sends me to sleep and also for the fact that he was not that great a football player anyway is Mark Lawrenson on the BBC. If ever there was a man who should be commentating on the World Crocheting Championships this is the guy.

But the winner is Garth Crooks

 

 

Even though he actually did play football (honest!) he seems to have forgotten everything, if anything, he learned. He has the concentration span of Homer Simpson and the analytical skills of Stevie Wonder.

For all TV licence payers in the UK you should all demand your money back as this man gets a big wage from your payments.

Not every football player can be a pundit and maybe their diverse personalities and abilities might add to the entertainment value of football on TV, but one thing is certain – GARTH CROOKS A FOOTBALL PUNDIT  MY A*SE!!!!!

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